오랫동안말기환자간병일을해온호주의간호사브로니웨어가최근발간한책에따르면,죽음을앞둔사람들에겐다섯가지공통된후회가있다.

첫째는남들이나에게기대하는인생(thelifeothersexpectofme)이아닌,나자신에게솔직한인생을살지(livealifetruetomyself)못했다는것이다.삶이끝나갈(bealmostover)무렵에야뒤돌아보며(lookbackonit)정작자신의꿈은절반도이행하지(honorevenahalfoftheirdreams)못했음을한탄한다.남의시선을의식하느라(beself-conscious)자신의꿈들을실현하지못했던(havethemgounfulfilled)것이다.

둘째는그렇게힘들게일할필요가있었을까하는것이다.그사이에자식들의어린시절,배우자의우애를잃고말았다는(misstheirchildren’syouthandtheirpartner’scompanionship)후회다.직장생활쳇바퀴에그렇게많은삶을소비한(spendsomuchoftheirlivesonthetreadmillofaworkexistence)것이뒤늦게안타깝다고했다.

셋째는자신의기분을내키는대로(asfancydictatesthem)표현할용기를갖지못했다는것이다.다른사람들과평화를유지하기위해(inordertokeeppeacewithothers)자신의감정을억누르느라(suppresstheirfeelings)속앓이를해야(sufferfromaninternaldisease)했다고속내를털어놓았다(weartheirheartsuptheirsleeves).

넷째로는친구들과만나며지내지(stayintouchwiththeirfriends)못한것을못내슬퍼했다(beinconstantsorrow).자신들의삶에갇혀(becomecaughtupintheirownlives)황금같은우정을잃어버렸다며(letgoldenfriendshipsslip)후회했다.다가오는죽음을맞이하면서(befacedwiththeirapproachingdeath)뒤늦게친구의소중함을깨닫지만,그때는이미행방조차알수없다는(cannottrackthemdown)사실에절망한다.

다섯째는자기자신을좀더행복하게만들지못한것이다.행복도선택이라는사실을마지막순간까지몰랐다.변화에대한두려움(fearofchange)에자기자신에게조차만족하고있는척했다고(pretendtheyarecontent)한다.낡은양식과습관에갇혀(staystuckinoldpatternsandhabits),이른바익숙함이라는’편안함’에빠져(beoverflowedwiththeso-called’comfort’offamiliarity)자기자신이추구하던행복을포기했다며아쉬워했다.

고한다.인생은겪어봐야이해할수있는교훈들의연속(asuccessionoflessonswhichmustbelivedtobeunderstood)이다.

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