1.장동건실물을봤는데’흠..그냥그렇네’생각하면서옆자리에있는남친봤는데웬오징어가팝콘을먹고있었다고…..
2.신종플루로조퇴한번해보겠다고ㅋㅋ드라이기로귀데피고양호실가서체온쟀더니80도나왔다던고등학생
3.친구한테민토앞에서보자고했더니민병철토익학원앞에서있었다는얘기ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
4.눈작은친구랑같이스티커…사진찍었는데’잡티제거’기능누르니까그친구눈사라졌다고했던얘기ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
5.저는라디오에서들은건데야자하다가졸면서교실문열었는데담임선생님이문밖에떡하니서있더래요.너무놀라서따귀때렸다고
6.알바할때이야기다ㅋㅋ거기서음식다드시면후식으로녹차커피사이다콜라중에하나를마실수있었닭ㅋ그래서회사원들슝슝돈까스먹으면접시치우면서묻는데그날따라손님많아서접시치우고멘트쳐야되는데정신이하나도없어서원래는녹차커피사이다콜라이건데"손님~후식으로녹차커피코이다와샬라가있습니다~"라고했다..그순간손님들표정ㅡ_ㅡ이거였음.ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
7.주유소에알바하는남자중에괜찮은사람있어서눈도장찍을라고매일휘발류1L씩사갔는데어느날그동네에연쇄방화사건이나서경찰들이조사하러다니는데그알바생이경찰한테그여자말해서1차용의자로지목된거ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
8.철도대학면접보러갔는데특별하게보이고싶어서팔ㄴ자로만들어칙칙폭폭하면서들어갔는데바로탈락
9.어떤분이지하철타고가는데앞쪽에커플이앉아있었다고.여자가애교존트섞어서코맹맹이소리로"자기야~~나파마머리한거오때?별로안어울리는거같징ㅠㅠ"이랬는데남자가"넌생머리도안어울려"사람들은빵터지고
10.가게점원이성경읽고있다가손님들어오는데"어서오소서"한얘기ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
11.컬투라디오mp3에넣고명동걷다가너무웃겨서무릎꿇은거ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
12.어떤분이치킨을시켰는데수중에돈이없었던거다ㅋㅋ근데치킨은이미도착을했고….그님은당황한나머지배달알바생에게"나중에뼈찾으러올때드릴게요"했다는거ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ근데배달알바생이"알겠습니다"하고나갔다ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ몇분뒤엔가다시찾아와서는뼈는안찾아간다고ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ알고보니알바생도몇일전까지중국집배달알바생이었다는거ㅋㅋㅋㅋ그래서알바생도헷갈렸었다는거
13.탤런트이훈이매니져처음만난날에매니져가이훈외모에쫄아서원래조수석잡고후진해야되는데이훈뒷통수잡고후진했대요ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
14.한지혜랑이동건이랑사귈때둘이어디행사장인가?에서어떤리포터가이동건보고"한지혜씨를꽃에비유한다면어떤꽃인가요?"그러니까이동건이피식웃으며"감히꽃따위가.."이랬다고.근데그걸본어떤여성분이남친한테이얘기를해주면서"자기야~난어떤꽃이얌?*^^*"이러니까남친이피식웃으면서"감히너따위가"ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
15.옛날에소드님이길가다가고딩불량배들을만났는데흠칫해서피해가려고하니까걔네가"야일로와봐"이랬다고.근데그분이"야날라와봐"이렇게듣고ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ어떡할까한참고민하다가새처럼양팔을펴서나는시늉하면서다가갔다고ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ그랬더니애들이미친여자인줄알고도망침ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
16.어떤분이ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ길가다가포장마차에서오뎅먹고오뎅국물을종이컵에떠서길에서호호불면서마시다가예전에사귀던남친을만났는데오뎅국물들고있던그분을아련하게바라보던전남친왈"여전히커피좋아하는구나"
17.자기집강아지가옆집에서키우는토끼를물고왔는데토끼가흙투성이가된채로죽어있었댄다ㅋㅋㅋㅋ식겁해서토끼흙묻은거깨끗하게씻기구옆집에몰래갖다놨는데다음날옆집사람왈"웬미친X이죽어서묻은토끼를씻겨놨다고"ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
18.어떤님이남친이랑있는데너무너무방귀가나올것같아서"사랑해!!"큰소리로외치며방귀를뿡뀌게됐는데남친이하는말이"뭐라고?방구소리때문에못들었어"
19.누가버스탔는데자리가없어서서있는데너무힘들어서혼잣말로’앉고싶다앉고싶다앉고싶다’생각하면서중얼거리다가버스가갑자기급정거해서앞에앉은할아버지귀에다가’앉고싶다’라고속삭인거ㅋㅋ
20.빵집에망토입고갔다가팔없는애인줄알고빵집주인이빵봉지줄에묶어서그분목에걸어준거ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ아니라고말하기도좀그래서빵집문어깨로밀고나온거ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
21.신혼부부가늦은밤에위에작은뚜껑만열리는렌트카타고가는데신부가그뚜껑열고머리만쏙내밀고가고있었대근데길가에노부부가손을마구흔들길래차멈췄더니갑자기놀래시면서미안하다고그냥가던길가라고택신줄알았다고..ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
22.좀전어느글에서본건데동물다큐프로에서엄청큰상어나오니까보고계시던할머니가"저게고래냐상어냐~"하셨는데그순간다큐성우가"저것은고래상어다."ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
23.어떤님이꿈을꿨는데용세마리가승천하는꿈을꾼거임.날밝자마자복권샀는데다꽝일뿌니고….낙심해선너구리우동사고집에가서뜯었는데다시마가세개들어있었다고"
24.아버지가아들에게찌질이가뭐냐고물어보셔서촌스럽고덜떨어진사람을말한다고말씀드렸대요근데어느날아버지핸드폰을우연히봤는데자기랑자기형이"찌질이1""찌질이2"라고저장되어있더래요ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
25.어떤분이엄마랑배스킨라빈스를갔대요.가서점원한테"엄마는외계인주세요"그랬는데뒤에있던엄마가"엄마는됐다니까!!"ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ엄마설레발작렬
26.어떤님이아부지핸드폰사셨을때자기이름"이쁜딸♡"로저장해놓으셨대근데며칠있다가아버지폰확인해보니그냥’딸’로바뀌어있었다고ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
27.어떤분이교수님께성적정정메일보내고난후에뭐확인하려고발신함들어가서보니까[교수님,저에게b를주셨습니다.]라고해야하는데[교수님,저에게b를주셨습디다.]라고써서보냈었다고했다네요.
28.어떤분이빨간코트에까만어그신고나가니까남친이"너영의정같다"한거ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
29.영화관에서친구랑영화보다가배아파서잠깐화장실갔다가자리로돌아와서친구귀에다대고"나똥2키로쌌따"이랬더니알고보니친구가아니고어떤아저씨ㅋㅋ아저씨왈"수고하셨어요"ㅋㅋ
30.저번에소라방에서본글인데어떤님이캔모아에서빙수먹으려는데선배한텐가"**아지금모해?"이렇게문자와서"아오빠~저캔모아빙수먹으려고요^^"이렇게답장보냈는데"**이는참알뜰하구나^^"하고답장온거
31.어떤님이밤새소드하다가아빠오는소리에얼른자는척했는데술취한아빠가그님자는줄알고머리쓰다듬으면서"우리**이….이렇게못생겨서시집은어떻게가누,,,,,???"하고목놓아우셨다는거ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ그님은소리없이눈물로베개를적셨다고ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
32.한참카카오99%초코렛이거유행할때어떤분이그거한알을술드시고주무시는아버지입에넣어드렸대요.ㅋㅋㅋ근데담날아침드시면서아버지하시는말’이제술을끊어야겠어.어젯밤엔쓸개즙을토했지뭐야.’ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
작성자:한덕전
.
Share the post "전철에서 읽다가 폭소를 터뜨린 32가지 유머"
